manic cleaning...

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I doubt most people can appreciate the feeling I have... that overwhelming knowledge and fear that if I start something I might not finish... in which case the vestiges of my failed efforts will lie in horrible disarray around the whole of my living space... but also the antsy-ness.  

I have taken my sleeping meds, now-- at midnight and a half-- but not after a massive cleaning spree.  I have been fighting the urge to blog again... for fear that no one will ever read and simultaneously forgetting that I don't blog for everyone else, I blog for me.

I have a friend who has a blog and gets more than 40 hits and hour... and I feel as though I drown in failure so often, why should it be here, as well.   OMG SO EMO!  lmao