A particularly irksome oxymoron: self-evaluation. For both are undeniably skew. Self has been ravaged by disease and perception for an “evaluation” are completely run-amok. Yet this all relies completely on me in my horrid state to evaluate my condition and seek help accordingly. Sounds more like a sick joke than proper instruction.
So I'm sitting here desperately trying to figure out how to put up old poems and simultaneously write blog entries. The above piece is dated in 2001 and it seems that through out the day I think about old pieces. This is the one that comes to me now. I am slightly manic... ok: pretty manic if I'm being honest. It's almost 1:30 AM and I am wide awake. So basically I have self evaluated to come to this conclusion.
I am struggling with this idea that SO MANY of my friends are struggling right now. I feel bad even asking for an ear to listen to my feelings. So--here with the anonymity of a screen name I will share what is going on.
I have yet to post a truly funny entry. Hopefully one of those is soon to come as these emo thoughts do not really get a lot of readership.
I keep thinking that I need to write something... it would have to be brief-- to describe the things I feel. I keep hearing repeated phrases and even lectures born of ignorance in relation to how my head works. Per the quote at the top of the page it is relatively evident that I have been made aware that I do not think like the rest of this world. This has been evident for a very long time.
This November will be the 10 year anniversary of my diagnosis-- or as Angelina Jolie referred to it in "Girl, Interrupted" my diagnonsense. And quite frankly I don't know what to think about that. And with that? I pass.
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